I grew up in care from the age of three. I was placed with many different foster carers and children’s homes so I moved around and went to a lot of different schools. I had to keep starting my life all over again. I must have done that over 20 times and each time it caused so much stress and anxiety.
Being born into that kind of life, through no fault of my own, made me feel very rejected and confused. I was in care until the age of 19. When I left, I had no confidence whatsoever. They gave me my first month’s rent and that was it: I was left to care for myself.
As an adult I settled down into a relationship and lived with my partner for 11 years. However when that came to an end, it triggered my depression and brought back all the old feelings about having to start again.
I’ve never taken drugs or turned to drink, but my battles with depression were very real. I’ve tried to take my own life at various points but each time I’ve pulled myself through and given it another go.
I heard about Emmaus two years ago when I hit another rough patch. I felt very desperate at the time; I was on my own and needed somewhere to live and somewhere to start again. I felt like this was my last chance to try and turn my life around.
Emmaus has been great; it’s really helped me. I’m such a different person now to when I first arrived.
I used to be so shy and had no confidence at all, but now I feel able to think about the future.
It really helps to live in a community of people who’ve also had challenging times in the past. For me, it’s like a family. You’re living and working together. Everyone has their bad days and their good days but together you work it out and get through it all.
It’s taken me a while to find out what I really want to do, but now I feel settled at Emmaus I can finally start planning for the future – something I’ve never been able to do before. It’s a great feeling. My passion has always been music; Emmaus has bought me specialist software so I can produce music from a studio in my room. I create dance, trance and uplifting drum & bass tracks and I’m busy building up my own YouTube channel. Making music has become my therapy; it helps to keep me focused, express myself and create something great at the same time.
If you want to change your life, Emmaus is definitely the place to be. For me, it feels like home. I’ve learnt to keep breathing and that your luck can change – you shouldn’t ever give up.