I moved into Emmaus Suffolk in April 2023. I was with another charity, Hope Into Action UK before that. When I was homeless, they put me into a night shelter scheme and I was there for about a month.
Then about a week before Covid-19 hit they offered me a house but then we went into lockdown, so I was immediately stuck inside for 6 months. It was a house share with me and another person, and I stayed there for three years.
My tenancy there was coming to an end, so my support worker and I began to look for other places. He asked me if I had ever heard of Emmaus Suffolk – I hadn’t. Then I was introduced to Emma, the Community Manager at Emmaus and had an interview. About an hour later Emmaus offered me a place; that was amazing.
I started living in the flat at the Royal Oak in one of the big rooms. I was there till June this year, and then the team decided to move me into Cromer Road because I was ready for a bit more independence. At the Oak, there are more people and staff around to check in on you and support you, whereas at Cromer Road it’s me and another three Emmaus residents (companions).
For many years before Covid-19, I struggled badly with my mental health. I had really bad depression and I was struggling to hold down jobs. I reckon I lost five or six jobs over seven years. When I lost my first job, I didn’t even know I was struggling with depression. I knew there was something wrong, but I didn’t see a doctor and I thought ‘I’m a man, I’ll get through it’. I was like that back in the day.
When I lost the fifth or sixth job, it got to the point where I had to leave my family home – I was kicked out. I didn’t know where to go or what to do. Luckily my best friend said to me that I couldn’t stay on the street and invited me to come and stay with him and his family – it was the nicest thing anyone has ever done. I was there for about three months. A family member of his became ill and he needed some space, so I had to leave the house. I packed all my stuff, came to Ipswich, went to the Chapman Centre (a support centre run by Ipswich Housing Action Group) and that’s how I got linked with Hope Into Action UK.
My family relationships were very strained and shattered then, I did feel quite alone. I was so fuelled with anger. I was drinking a lot and just hiding my feelings. When I left my friend’s house, I had to get on my own two feet and sort myself out. It’s quite strange sitting here now, looking back. It’s weird to think that I went through all of that – it kind of feels like it happened to another person.
Now, my mental health is really good. I still have bad days like everyone, but I think I’m on the right medication dosage. I’m doing a lot of things that make me happy, and my friends and family really help, so I think I’m in a good place.
Emmaus offered me a new place to stay and work opportunities at the shops and café, which gave me back a sense of purpose. At Hope into Action, apart from the Job Centre, the only thing I did was a few bits of volunteering they set me up with. Before Emmaus when I was volunteering, I’d have good days, when it was going well, but then I’d have really bad days when I couldn’t go in or I couldn’t maintain it. That felt very much like a repeated pattern.
With Emmaus, everyone supported me quite a bit and I started off steaming donated clothes. I used to find it satisfying, seeing that process and sorting all the clothes. I’d take my speaker in there and play music. I then went up to Emmaus’ Carr Street Shop and Community Space. I do get quite a lot of anxiety dealing with customers and the public – it’s something I’m working on now with till training at the Emmaus charity shop, the Dales.
Right now, I’m also doing lots of volunteering outside of Emmaus which I love. I’m volunteering at The Dogs Squad in Christchurch Park in Ipswich, which is basically a doggy day care. It’s great fun, I love animals. I was a bit anxious when I first started but all the people are incredibly lovely and welcoming. I instantly thought this was a good place. Emmaus has been really good at letting me volunteer other places and do things that bring me joy.
I also have started volunteering at New Wolsey Theatre at a photography course. I completed the course last year and now I am helping out other students. I really love it. You feel so safe as soon as you walk in. After I did the course, they asked me to come back to volunteer which I was so flattered by. A year ago, I think I would have been too anxious to say yes to that, but I feel like I’m past that now. I’ve always been such a passionate person, and I love that I’m able to explore the things I enjoy now.
Emmaus is full of really nice friendly people and some of the most genuine people that I’ve ever met. I always feel like I can share anything I’m struggling with.
At Emmaus, you feel like you matter. Going back to other times I’ve been in housing; I might have had somewhere to stay but I was just floating about. I didn’t realise how soon after being at Emmaus I would start to feel better.
I used to apply for jobs to please people, if a family member told me to apply for something I would do it just to make them happy. Now I’m doing what I want to do and it’s going to benefit me in the long run. I’ve always struggled to see my own worth. At Emmaus, I think quite subtly, they’ve helped me to see that I am worth something.
I never thought I would get back to feeling how I am now. When you go through something bad you might improve or recover but it’s hard to get back to where you were. Now I feel like myself again but a better version of the person I used to be.
If you or someone you know is experiencing homelessness – apply to join an Emmaus community and get help here.