As soon as I visited Emmaus Oxford, I instantly knew it was the right place for me. One of my biggest struggles was the lack of purpose after losing my job. Here, I spend five days a week contributing to the shop, which has been exactly what I needed.
I worked for the Home Office for 22 years at an immigration centre in Kidlington, Oxfordshire. Over the years, I held various roles, including manager and supervisor positions. I truly believed this would be my career for life, as I was settled and enjoyed my job. However, when the department was closed, everyone was made redundant. It was a difficult job, but I was good at it, and losing it was a huge blow.
After leaving the Home Office, I struggled to find my footing. I took a couple of jobs, one working with children with autism and later, a job at Buckinghamshire council. However, I found these roles frustrating because I was very regimented in following the rules, whereas others were not. I found this too stressful, and ultimately, I left the council job with no backup plan. With no job to go to, I started drinking, which, in hindsight, was the beginning of my downfall.
I didn’t realise at the time how much alcohol was affecting my mental health, and I began experiencing suicidal thoughts. I reached out to a local organisation that specialised in alcohol recovery for help, and they supported me to get sober. As I reduced my alcohol intake, my mental health improved, and the suicidal thoughts faded.
At that time, I was renting a room in a shared house, but constant arguments over trivial things made it an uncomfortable living situation. Frustrated and wanting a change, I made what I thought was a good decision at the time—I handed in my notice and moved into the shed on my allotment with my dog. It sounds absurd now, but at the time, it felt like a logical choice. The allotment was my happy place, a beautiful spot surrounded by apple trees. However, the reality of living in a shed quickly set in. I had never been so cold in all my life.
Realising that I needed help my brother mentioned Emmaus. I picked up the phone, explained my situation, and before long, I arrived at Emmaus Oxford, where I have now been living for around ten months.
I have also recently completed two courses arranged by Emmaus—one in gardening and plant care and another in first aid—both of which I thoroughly enjoyed. These experiences have given me skills in two different areas, but I am still unsure which direction to take at the moment. Previously, at the Home Office, I was responsible for training people in First Aid and Suicide Prevention and Awareness, so I am considering returning to that field. While I am uncertain about my long-term future, I know that when I am ready, Emmaus will support me in finding a job and a place of my own. My goal is simple: I just want to live a normal life again.
The support from the staff at Emmaus Oxford has been invaluable in helping me stay sober. Every morning, I take a breath test to confirm that I haven’t been drinking. This not only reassures the staff but also helps keep me accountable. There is nothing physically stopping me from going out and drinking, but with the stability and support Emmaus provides, I have no desire to go down that path again.
There are not enough words to express my gratitude for the people at Emmaus Oxford. They have been absolutely amazing; from the moment I walked through the door to the continuous support I receive every day. If they hadn’t taken me in when they did, I genuinely don’t know where I would be today. Thanks to Emmaus, I am rebuilding my life, one step at a time.