My name is Isheshe but most people me Ish and I am the Horticultural Supervisor at Emmaus Merseyside. I run and organise the garden, working with the volunteers and companions.
I started at Emmaus in April 2023. I’ve always had a passion for food security and I’ve been homeless so when I saw the role, it caught my eye straight away. I’ve kind of come full circle – to be able to work in a garden, grow food for a charity, and work in an organisation that actually helps people who have been homeless – it’s great.
Growing food and making a difference
In the garden, we grow food for the Emmaus Merseyside community kitchen. We grow fruit and veggies such as potatoes, strawberries, onions, tomatoes, chilies and herbs. We sometimes get donations of seeds, houseplants and cacti so we pot them on and make some cuttings from the babies.
We generate a source of revenue by growing flowers, and producing woodwork items, crafted by our companions, both of which are then sold in our charity shop. Whilst I’ve been here, I’ve been able to encourage more companions to work in the woodshed which supports their own personal development. We make upcycled wooden Christmas trees, birdhouses, planters, fences, gates, dog bowl holders, bookshelves, tables and so on. They’re all custom made with people able to choose the design, colour and finish. If you want something that’s a bit quirky, you can ask us, and we can see whether we can make it for you. It’s all made from reclaimed wood so that’s helping us recycle wood that would otherwise end up in landfill.
At Emmaus, we prioritise solidarity as one of our core values. One of my first initiatives was to assist a local organisation in establishing a community garden for vulnerable adults. We’ve also visited a local primary school and helped with ground preparation of their raised beds as it was largely overrun with weeds. These and other experiences have been good for companions as well, getting out of our garden to see something different and how different organisations work.
My own experience of homelessness
When I was a teenager, just before my sixteenth birthday, we lost our family home. It was due to a variety of reasons and as you can imagine, it was not a great experience for a teenager. I had to deal with losing the home I had known for the majority of my life, and also the stigma and shame associated with being homeless.
I still remember a hectic frenzied rush to pack all our belongings into boxes, laundry bags and anything else that came to hand. It was such a surreal experience and little did I know at the time, a traumatic experience that still impacts me today, even though I am now happily married, have a son together and are homeowners. We had to go to emergency housing for about a week, then temporary housing in the form of a hotel, then we ended up in a hostel, and finally got a house, about 12-18 months after us initially losing our house and becoming homeless.
I have two younger brothers and we all dealt with it differently. I think the stigma really affected my immediate younger brother who was 14 going on 15 when this happened. Once we were in the hotel and for a period of time in the hostel, my brother would wake up super early so he could get to the bus stop he used before we lost our home. For me, I only confided in one friend of the situation and already a shy teenager, I went more inwards and deep depression came over me. I felt the whole world hated me and was completely unaware that I was isolating myself. My youngest brother’s age pretty much sheltered him from the intense rollercoaster of emotions I felt.
The house we settled in was amazing and we all got our own bedrooms that were a good size, making us comfortable but then we had to leave that house two or three years later. The council paid our landlord but when then the ceiling collapsed in the dining room, the landlord refused to fix it. I had health problems at the time and my mum was really concerned because the ceiling was continuing to crumble. By this point, we were just living with my mum, and thankfully she found another property, so we moved and life was good. Then that landlord stopped paying the mortgage so unfortunately it happened all over again. I was in my early twenties by this time, yet homelessness hit just as hard.
Challenging the stigma of homelessness
I think the first time I became homeless, as a teenager, it was difficult in the sense of it being this big secret and that’s why now I want to be more honest about it. It’s bad enough that you’re a child technically, and you’ve lost your home due to no fault of your own, but then to have this big, massive shame around it, and carry this big secret, it was difficult.
I don’t think there should be a shame and stigma around homelessness because it can happen to anybody. There are people at Emmaus who’ve lost their parents and the bereavement from that, put them in a depression, lost their job and then lost their house. Add now the pressures of the cost-of-living crisis, and it’s so easy for people to have a couple of missteps and before they know it, have nowhere to live.
I don’t think we should really put blame on people when they find themselves in difficult situations. Even if someone was, say, reckless with money, why were they reckless with money? Some things may have happened in their childhood, or in their adult life, which means they were not taught good money management skills. I believe it’s very important to look at humans as humans. I know that some of us have bad luck, or we just weren’t given the coping skills, or we didn’t have good parents.
I think my experience of being homeless makes me very empathetic. Sometimes I feel like I’m too nice, but in one way, I would rather be too nice. A lot of the companions have said they like me because I don’t judge them. Most people if I told them that I’ve experienced homelessness, they find that surprising, because it’s like, okay, you’ve experienced it but look where you are now – you own your own home, have a family, you’re married, you have a degree, all of that stuff. You can still come out of it and homelessness doesn’t define you.
Growing and learning together
I think the one great thing about Emmaus is that you have that choice. You can be here for as long as you need it or it can be a stepping stone to get back on your feet. You have that community, and you don’t have to worry about things like bills and other things. You’re supported in finding a new GP, get treatment for substance abuse or your mental health, job placements, training and so much more. I feel this makes a massive difference as it is like a life raft allowing you to recover from whatever led you to your current situation. A companion can concentrate on personal self-development and gradually build themselves up without the stresses of everyday necessities. I think it’s really important that we are there for each other without judgement or an added pressure of a time limit because we are all different and it is good to allow people to go at their own pace.
I’ve had companions who don’t have any agricultural or garden experience but I think there is a therapeutic element to working outdoors in nature. Also, because we have local volunteers in the garden, there’s that element where you get to talk to people. A lot of our garden volunteers are older, so they have that wisdom and when they have conversations, there are benefits to those social interactions. There are therapeutic elements to gardening as a community – seeing things grow, working in a group, as part of a team, sharing ideas, learning together and using your initiative.
It’s just the nature of horticulture. I could have 30 years’ experience but I’d still find something to learn because there are so many different plants, flowers, fungi, fruit and veggies. There are also so many different ways that you can practice cultivating and so there’s so much to learn from other gardeners. You’re constantly learning when you’re growing – trying new things and getting better. There are usually many different ways to do the same thing and get a bountiful harvest. Sometimes you fail but you learn from that too. Often from my biggest mistakes, it has been the time I have learned and grown the most.
Our plans for the future
The future for the community garden is for us to get a bit more organised, to install a new on-site hub and work with the new kitchen manager to grow and cook more produce for companions. We’ll definitely be creating more stuff out of wood. We started off with the planters, Christmas trees and the dog bowls but now we’re making birdhouses and a couple of tables. We’re also looking into making our own compost as we have so much potential to get rid of all our food waste.
At Emmaus, we progress in small steps because we’re a charity, not a company. Working with people at various life stages and accommodating new and departing companions requires us to be flexible and dynamic. Our goal is to become self-sufficient by producing what we need and generating enough revenue to sustain and grow our charity.
I’ve started talking more to the local schools, so I’m hoping Emmaus can give more support to the schools and help inspire the next generation, through solidarity action. When I found horticulture I was like, where was it all my life, it didn’t even occur to me. My mum grew up on a farm and she pointed plants out to me, and I was semi-interested but then when I fell into it by accident at college, I was like, this is amazing and it clicked. I’ve always cared about the environment but when you add the food security element, the horticulture elements, it is truly a vocation, a way of life.
Community gardening with love
In the garden, and I know it sounds cheesy, we genuinely put love and care into everything we do. When I’m in the Charity Superstore, I enjoy chatting with customers and offering gardening advice – I’m always happy to give customers a tour and welcome more volunteers. It’s rewarding to see the garden benefit both our companions and the local community.
The final point I want to put across is try not to judge others too quickly. It’s easy to react negatively when someone cuts you up when you are driving for example, but that person might be dealing with challenges you don’t know about. It’s easier to be kinder, to give them a chance or just say nothing and move on.