From the age of 18, I’ve had a problem with drink and drug addiction. Over the years it spiralled out of control.
Addiction had taken control of my life. I started being late with my rent, making excuses, and ended up in a lot of money trouble with unpaid bills which affected my mental health and, on more than one occasion, I thought about ending it all. Thankfully, each time I was able to pull myself through.
I tried to get clean. I’d be sober for a week and feel good, but then Friday would come, and I’d end up back at the shop buying vodka and back to square one.
I was on my last warning for rent, and I had just lost my job because of my addictions. I was very close to ending up homeless, sleeping on the streets. My sister found me a rehab place. I knew I needed help, so I decided to go. I did it for myself and for my kids, who live with their mum.
It was so hard at first. Every day I wanted to leave. But I couldn’t keep making empty promises to my kids. I couldn’t let them down anymore. It was a Christian rehab, and whilst I was there, I found myself starting to believe in God. That helped.
I stayed in rehab for a year. When I was ready to move on, I didn’t have a house anymore. I needed somewhere with the foundations to keep me on the straight and narrow. A friend from rehab had gone to Emmaus Coventry & Warwickshire. I heard how good it was and followed him.
Emmaus has given me the structure I need. I’ve been here for over three months and it’s amazing. There’s a good bunch of lads here. I’ve got a roof over my head – my own bedroom – and my freedom. I’ve got work that keeps me busy during the day, and I can chill in the evenings. The support team here is brilliant, and I know that if there are any issues I can go straight to them. It’s zero-tolerance for drugs and alcohol, and you get breath-tested every morning, and that helps.
For me, Emmaus is a transition towards being fully independent again. If you know you’re going to be homeless or if you are homeless, then this is ideal. Emmaus is a safe place where you can rebuild your self-esteem and restart your life.
I want to stay here until I’m ready to move on and live independently. My relationship with my kids is so much better now.
I’m applying to start volunteering as a drug and alcohol counsellor. I want to get trained up, get qualified, and then apply for a counselling job. I’ve got myself out of the hole, and now I want to help others do the same. I want to inspire people and show them that anything is possible.
I’ve been drug and alcohol free for 15 months now, and it feels amazing. I am proud of myself. I was nearly dead and had lost all hope. Now, life is good and I’m feeling positive about my future.