I’ve been here at Emmaus Colchester for about two months. I found Emmaus through my mum, who works for a local charity and told me about it. I applied, and within a couple of days, Zaneta rang me up – we had a chat for an hour, and she gave me a key; I moved in that Monday.
It was a real lift off my shoulders – my mum had given me a few weeks to stay with her, but at 28, I didn’t want to be living at my mum’s house. I felt a bit like a burden. I didn’t want to be a burden anymore.
Truth be told, the first night I was here, I just sat in my room. It was quite emotional. I sat on the phone with my mum for the whole night, basically. I’m a people person, but when I came into the community, I didn’t know anyone, and that was hard. I met a few companions, and I went around the shops and put my face out there and never looked back. Now, they can’t get rid of me! People are the best way to move forward, just talking and having people to open up to is nice.
Facing Homelessness
In January, I moved in with my ex-partner. It was alright–until it wasn’t alright. It started getting very tense with my partner and she became controlling. From that point, it went from bad to worse. I left the first time, and I went to my mum’s. For some reason, I went back to my ex. I felt bad, I thought I was the problem.
I started listening to friends and to my mum, who were all saying I needed to leave. In the nicest way possible, I just up and left. I’ve had my own mental health struggles; I’ve ended up in the hospital because of it, but once I left, I felt lighter, like I could go out and breathe. The worst thing was that my job was in jeopardy, and I loved my job, but I had to put myself first.
When I eventually left, I went to my mum’s, who gave me two weeks to stay there, and I suddenly realised that after those two weeks, I was going to be homeless. I was sleeping on my mum’s settee, and I love her dearly, but that wasn’t great. It wasn’t my home. I didn’t expect this to happen to me. I had everything as a kid; I was very lucky, and I think that fed into how I was feeling. A lot of people facing homelessness didn’t have that upbringing.
When it did hit me in the face that I couldn’t go back to my mum or my dad, I was really panicking. I had a place at Emmaus, but I wasn’t sure it was the right thing for me, although I really didn’t have another choice.
Even though I was about to be homeless, I was worried about what other homeless people would be like. People think anyone homeless is horrible, we’re really not.
Life at Emmaus
I went from everything to nothing, but now I’ve started all this new stuff at Emmaus, I think it will be the making of me.
I am quite happy and content at the moment. Being in the community is like living in a big house with your mates.
I enjoy the fact that we get to work while we’re here. I started off in the shops and warehouse, sorting donations and on the shop floor. Then I was offered a role in the new painting and decorating service, which I’m loving. We’ve done our first few jobs, and it was amazing. We’re now painting the Community 360 building. It’s really good to be honest.
There’s always something going on in the community. I’m the team captain for the Emmaus team at the Colchester Soapbox race, which I can’t wait for!
As a kid and teenager, I got very into cart and stock car racing. I started racing when I was six or seven, and I did very well. I won my first championship a few years after that, and it was a lovely thing to do with my parents. I won a fair few stock car races, too. I gave it up three years ago after winning our last championship. It was an expensive hobby. I’d love to get back into it.
It’s cool that I get to be involved in the soap box race – that’s a real bonus. A painting and decorating client donated us a buggy to use as the base. We’ve got two Emmaus teams; all I care about is beating the other team! I hope it brings more awareness to Emmaus.
Emmaus’ Impact
The biggest thing Emmaus has given me is a sense of belief. When you are facing homelessness, I didn’t even become street homeless; I had that feeling that things wouldn’t get better. The people here make you feel normal; they make you feel like a human being. You can go and talk to any member of staff, and it’s like having a chat with a friend or parent.
I’m lucky to have quite strong self-esteem. I’m a bigger person, and I do feel like people look down on me, but to anyone who’s also big, I always just say if people are being unkind or staring, they’re jealous. My catchphrase is to ‘strut it’. I don’t care what people think. I know that you can walk past someone and have no idea what they’re going through in life, so I don’t judge.
At Emmaus, you get a sense of belonging. They see what you can do, what you’re strong at and help you gain skills in that area. They saw the potential in me to work in the painting & decorating business, and I’m so grateful to have that opportunity.
Emmaus gives you a sense that you deserve to be here, that you deserve a second chance. After feeling like the world had stopped and I lost everything, I didn’t expect to be here. I’d like to continue to be positive about life. Everything happens for a reason, and I will take my time to rebuild and restart.
Emmaus give you a sense that you deserve to be here, that you deserve a second chance. After feeling like the world had stopped and I lost everything, I didn’t expect to be here. I’d like to continue to be positive about life. Everything happens for a reason, and I will take my time to rebuild back up and restart.
*Names changed for anonymity
If you or someone you know is experiencing homelessness or at risk of it, get help from Emmaus here