Companion Stories: Cyrus

Photograph of Cyrus

"I have been at Emmaus Leeds since March 2004. I was an angry child and I grew into an angry adult. I was beaten very badly on a regular basis by my father when I was a child. For twenty years I related to people by being aggressive and terrorising them. If someone just looked at me, I’d want to know why. I went to prison quite a lot of times.

After my mother died I had a period in my life when I became lost. I was homeless for seven years. I slept in cars, empty flats, anywhere that had a bit of warmth really. Nobody could reach me. I was taking various different drugs and in the end I deliberately got myself sent to prison as a way of getting clean. When I came out I went into rehab and came out in 2003.

Emmaus is a place where people need to contribute. You can’t just take all the time. You have to play your part in Community life and make sure you do your share. I am a Core Companion which means that I have some extra responsibilities such as looking after new Companions, but I will do any job that needs to be done. That’s the ethos of Emmaus - helping yourself and other people. This Community is all our own work.

I recently did an outward bound course in Dartmoor which was organised by Emmaus. Although I didn’t realise it at the time, that week taught me so much. It showed me how to communicate with other people and to work together to get a job done without having to resort to shouting at people, which is what I have always done in the past.

I have had quite a bit of counselling here at the Community to help me to face certain things in my past. I don’t get as stressed and frustrated as I used to. I have started going to the gym and I feel much stronger both physically and mentally. I’ve even passed my driving test. In my past life if I felt like driving my car, then I would even though I didn’t have a licence. I didn’t believe in following the law.

Emmaus has shown me that I have an inner strength that I didn’t know I had. I was tough before, but that wasn’t real strength, it was just anger and hate."